I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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