We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
