we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
