He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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