im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
