can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
