do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
