so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
