smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
