Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
