I'm eating all of the evidence.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
