Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
