Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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