You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
