I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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