Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
