She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you had me at cake vodka
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
