i don't like sucking hair
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
