Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
