Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
