I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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