My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
