he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
