what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
