I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
