What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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