I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
