I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
