I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
