My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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