we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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