Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
