the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
