I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
