I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
