I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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