So drunk its hurt
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
