just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Small penises have feelings too.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
