You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
where am i from again
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
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