He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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