i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish you could order shots online.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
