Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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