Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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