If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
