I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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