I think my vagina is haunted
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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