is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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