im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
