Sponge bath it is.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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