did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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