why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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