After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
