Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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