So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
