mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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