too bad you live with your parents still
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
